Beware Of Pregnant

Top Ten Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Wife:

Got milk?

Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby.

I sure hope your thighs aren’t going to stay that flabby forever.

Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that’s got to hurt.

Well, couldn’t they induce labour? The 25th is the SuperBowl.

Darned if you isn’t about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.

I finished the Oreo’s.

Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs forty pounds.

Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!

Are your ankles supposed to look like that?

Get your *own* ice cream.

I’m jealous. Why can’t men experience the joy of childbirth?

Geez, you’re awfully puffy looking today.

Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.

Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!

Retaining water ? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.

1. You don’t have the guts to pull that trigger.