You’re Not a Kid Anymore When

Your car has four doors.

You routinely check the oil in your car.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold in your stomach, no matter who walks into the room.

You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.

Neighbours borrow your tools.

The phone rings and you hope it’s not for you.

The only reason you’re still awake at 4 am is indigestion.

People ask what colour your hair USED to be.

You write thank you notes without being told.

You start singing along with the elevator music.

You’ve owned clothes so long that they’ve come back into style TWICE.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

7 AM is your idea of “sleeping in.”

You enjoy watching the news.

Your best friend is dating someone half their age AND isn’t breaking any laws.

You’re proud of your lawnmower.

You don’t remember when you got that mole…or the one next to it.