A man walks into a bar…
…. And orders a drink. As the bartender is getting it for him, he notices a jar of ten dollar bills on the counter.
“What are those for?” He asks.
“We have a competition running.” Replies the bartender. “You put ten dollars in the jar and I give you three tasks. If you complete the tasks, you get the whole jar, which is valued at approximately $10,000.”
“What are the tasks?” Asks the man.
“Doesn’t work like that. You have to put the money in first.” Says the bartender.
The man shrugs and puts the money in. “Alright, what are the tasks?”
“First, you have to scull a quart of tequila in under a minute. Secondly, there’s a pit bull chained up out back with a rotten tooth, you have to remove that tooth with your bare hands. And lastly, there’s an ninety year old woman upstairs who’s never had sex, you have to rectify that.”
“Stuff that!” Exclaims the man. “Just give me my drink.”
An hour or so later, the man is incredibly drunk. “Alright!” He slurs “Gimme my tequila!” He sculls it in 58 seconds.
He then gets up from his seat, cracks his neck and walks out the back door, slamming it behind him.
The bar is quiet as the sounds of a terrible commotion come from under the door; barking, yelling, tearing until suddenly, silence.
The door bursts open as the man stumbles in. He’s covered in sweat, has a chunk of flush missing from his shoulder and his clothes are in tatters,
“Right!” He calls out “Time to take care of that old lady with the rotten tooth!”